For the past two decades, Rocky has looked forward to her family’s yearly escape to Cape Cod. Their rustic beach-town rental has been the site of sweet memories, its quirky furniture and mismatched pots and pans greeted them like old friends.
Now, sandwiched between her children, who are adult enough to be fun but still young enough to need her, and her parents, who are alive and healthy, Rocky wants to preserve this golden moment forever—this one precious week when everything is in balance; everything is in flux.
But every family has its secrets, and hers is no exception. With her body in open revolt and surprises invading her peaceful haven, Rocky’s seemingly perfectly balanced seesaw is tipping towards change…
I sympathised with Rocky from the outset. Though I don’t have children, I am a woman of a certain age, and those conflicting emotions she was battling are my every day. Many women will experience feeling perplexed, overemotional, angry, and frustrated because of a lack of control.
Through these emotional reactions and her feeling that she is losing control of everything in her life – her parents and their ageing, her husband and the distance she feels from him, and the fact that her beloved children are growing up and moving away from her – we learn about her past. Rocky shares with us the moments she regrets, moments she cannot forget and they are heartbreaking but also show that she is a fighter, a woman who can accept she made decisions she can look back on and feel sad about, knowing that she made them for the right reasons.
I loved reading about the complex relationship she has with her parents. It’s clear that she is worried about them, about the fact that they are getting older and there is an obvious sign that things aren’t completely right with them. She experiences a blend of concern and frustration. She is concerned that they need help and frustrated that they won’t accept what she is offering.
As she sees her children growing up and creating lives away from the one they had with her, it’s obvious that her emotions are conflicted. She is proud of the fact that they are finding their own way, becoming the people she raised them to be. But there is also that concern that they are moving away from her. In finding their own paths they are removing some of the purpose she had as their mother. This feeling of becoming unnecessary is another layer of Rocky’s feelings of anger and fear. Yet in growing up, it’s obvious they are building new and different relationships. Rocky is used to being the comfort, and the caregiver, and there are moments when her youngest daughter is the one providing comfort and care to her mother, becoming the emotional support.
Rocky has a need to be in control, perhaps afraid that if she gives that control up she will lose track of everything and everyone that she cares about.
Sandwich was an emotional rollercoaster, and one I was happy to ride on. It’s complicated and rich with feelings that I am familiar with and though it was not the longest book I have read, it contained a story that encouraged lots of feelings.
