Three days to fall in love. Six years to try to forget.
Ellie didn’t expect to fall in love while interrailing through Europe. But she also didn’t expect to meet a man like Ash. Three blistering days in Lisbon is all it takes to form an unforgettable connection—a bond deep enough for them to scrap their itineraries and plan to meet again in Spain. But Ellie arrives late, and Ash is nowhere to be found.
Six years later, Ellie has landed her dream job working as a gardener for a viscount and viscountess on their sprawling five-hundred-year-old estate in Wales. She finds peace amongst the towering topiary hedges and colorful gardens, but her idyll is shattered when Ash crashes back into her life. And when it becomes clear why he didn’t show in Madrid, her heart breaks anew—for what the truth means for her, and for his fate.
But they have never been able to resist each another, and when the sparks of their attraction fly, Ellie’s life will catch flame. She will have to make a choice.
There’s no denying it, Paige Toon has a talent for weaving contemporary love stories that are both deeply emotional and effortlessly engaging and her latest novel,* What if I Never Get Over You*, is no exception.
I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly I devoured this book, finishing it in just two sittings. The pacing and immersive storytelling made it difficult to put down, and I was grateful to have read it in a short span rather than stretching it over several days, as this allowed me to fully appreciate the intricacies of the timeline and emotional depth of the characters.
The story follows Ellie and Ash, two young travellers who meet while interrailing across Europe. Ellie is on the verge of concluding her journey, preparing to meet her parents in Portugal, struggling with feelings of displacement and a lack of belonging. On the other hand, Ash is a free spirit, living in the moment, and embracing the unpredictability of travel. Despite their apparent differences, a profound bond forms between them over the course of just three days—one that seems unlikely but proves to be deeply transformative.
Beneath their initial connection, Ellie and Ash share more similarities than they first realise. Both have complicated relationships with their parents, who seem to demand more than they are willing to give in return. They are also both grieving the loss of close friends, which has left an unshakable void in their lives. Their longing for belonging manifests in different ways: Ash finds solace in astronomy, while Ellie, though destined for a very different career, has a deep love for horticulture and dreams of becoming a gardener. These shared struggles and passions create a foundation for their relationship, making their connection all the more compelling.
As with any poignant love story, the journey of Ellie and Ash is far from straightforward. No sooner have they met and connected, truly finding someone they can talk with than they are separated by circumstance, and it isn’t until more than six years later that their paths cross again. Their reunion brings back unresolved emotions and, for Ellie, rips open old wounds that she has spent the last six years trying to heal.
Having read every single book by Paige Toon, including her YA novels, I have my personal favourites, and this one certainly stands out for its heartfelt simplicity. At its core, it follows the classic ‘boy meets girl’ trope, but what makes it particularly engaging is how deeply it delves into the emotional baggage both characters carry. The novel thoughtfully revisits the wounds that shaped Ellie and Ash’s distrust of people, particularly their strained parental relationships and the loss of close friends that they both seem to find difficult to grieve for.
Ellie’s emotional journey is particularly well-developed. Her fear of Ash’s father, her inability to stand up for herself, her belief that her parents never truly listened to her, and her tendency to be a people-pleaser all stem from past experiences that have left lasting scars. The way the novel unpacks these layers makes her character incredibly real and easy to empathise with.
While I thoroughly enjoyed this book, there was one element that left me wanting more and that was the emotional impact of loss. Both Ash and Ellie have endured the devastating deaths of close friends, Taran and Stella, respectively. While their grief is acknowledged, I felt that this aspect of the story could have been explored more deeply. I anticipated a stronger emotional connection to their losses, something that many of her novels have done exceptionally well in the past. Here I can’t help remembering the way that Angie felt frustrated at being unable to scream at her recently deceased grandmother for lying to her but still sobbed over her death in If You Could Go Anywhere. However, for some reason, I found myself slightly detached from this part of the narrative. This lack of depth is the only reason I would rate this book a 4 instead of a perfect 5—I just can’t quite pinpoint what was missing.
One of the hallmarks of a Paige Toon novel is the assurance of a fulfilling ending. You never have to worry about an open-ended conclusion or a shocking revelation that turns the male lead into a villain in disguise. Instead, what we get is a love story filled with emotional complexity, personal growth, and a protagonist who takes charge of her own destiny. I especially loved that in this story, it was Ellie who held the power. Ash, though emotionally tormented and struggling with his own demons, was not the one calling the shots. This refreshing dynamic made their journey even more compelling.
This novel is an exploration of love, loss, and the challenges of self-discovery. While the emotional weight of grief could have been more pronounced, the depth of character development and the authenticity of Ellie and Ash’s journey made it a story to revisit.
Whether you’re a longtime fan of Paige Toon or new to her work, this book is one for you if you’ve ever struggled with belonging or found yourself wanting when it comes to the high expectations of others.
