Esther first sees Ted walking in a park in London. They lock eyes and for a fraction of a second, she feels something she’s never felt before.
She starts by reading up about his life in Canada and his work as an actor. Then she watches every interview with him online. It isn’t long before she’s joined Ted’s fan site online where her and the ‘Tedettes’ stalk his every move.
When Ted gets a new celebrity girlfriend, Esther decides that things have gone far enough. She leaves her husband, takes all their savings, and buys a one-way ticket to Canada.
After all, Ted might not know it yet, but they are meant to be together – he just needs a little bit of persuading…
Wow, what can I say about this book? I had seen the social media promotion for a while, including the intriguing Instagram account (and yes, I do follow @estherfollowsyou over there), such a clever marketing campaign, especially as it launched before too much had been revealed about the book.
Esther is in a tight spot; she’s married, pregnant, has a good group of friends, and then it all changes in a single moment, with the loss of her baby. While the rest of the world carries on, Esther’s in a tornado of grief that she is struggling to process, and then she finds her salvation in the form of actor Ted. He’s not exactly made it big when they lock eyes in a park, but that’s enough for her to become obsessed. She joins an online group of fellow Teddettes, and things snowball.
Not only does Esther abandon her life, but getting close to Ted in his native Canada becomes a necessity! And it’s dangerous!
Moving to Canada, leaving her husband behind, Esther lies, schemes and manipulates the people around her, and she’s terrifying.
This book showed the very dark side of online obsession, of parasocial relationships, of fandom, but it also showed the dangers of not getting help when your life is crumbling around your ears. In Ted’s sister Naomi, we see alcoholism as a coping mechanism; in Esther, we see a dangerous obsession. Both unhealthy, both dangerous and both destined to end in disaster.
I found a lot of the book uncomfortable; it made me question my own online past, a member of fan forums, an attendee at conventions, writer of fanfiction. Esther sank into a pit of despair, but instead of seeking help, she found another way out, which could have ended incredibly badly. Admitting that there is something wrong in your life, and the way you feel about it, is only the first step.
Sadly, Esther felt as though she was unable to share her fears, concerns, and heartbreak with the people in her life (some of whom were going through it with her). As her friends moved on with their lives, all she could see was that she was falling behind, her pain forgotten…when in fact she was the one who was pushing them all away.
I found her plight distressing. Having been through cycles of depression, it concerned me how quickly she spiralled, seeing Ted, her online friends, and the idea of a new life as her only escape!
This book shows the levels some people can sink to when they need support, as well as highlighting the dangers of getting too involved in the online lives of people you don’t know.
An interesting book, a scary book, but ultimately one with an important message to share. Esther acted without thinking because to think meant she would need to focus on the things that were really wrong in her life!
